Why Personal Development – A struggle for something more
There is a pain in living life as it happens to you, and there is pain on the journey to self-mastery. It doesn’t matter which road you take in life there will be a struggle no matter what. I realized this laying in my bed zoning out to a crapy movie I rented off of youtube. I thought to myself
“why do I dedicate so much of my time to working on becoming a successful Internet marketer but 95% of the time devoted to Mastering my craft is wasted drinking coffee, dabbling on social media or staring at a blank computer screen (aka Procrastination).
Why do I dream of being socially intelligent and charismatic but can’t seem to have a simple conversation with cute baristas.”
So why personal development If there’s always going to be all this resistance holding me back?
School Didn’t Prepare Me For Shit.
School was the start of all my struggles. Life was good before that. I mean being a kid was great right? I always had my parents to take care of me. I would wake up and go outside to start the next adventure, or take apart the old handheld gaming system, just to see how it works. Whatever it was, I would always follow my curiosity, but not in school. School was the biggest pain for me. Honestly, I never understood why I needed it. I was only there because my parents made me go. I had 0 interest in what I was learning. As a result, my grades were terrible, and I was starting to pick up a reputation for being not the sharpest tool in the shed.
After 3rd grade, I went through a series of test and found out I am dyslexic (or so they say). The way I see it was that I never could understand how any of it was beneficial for me. Most kids were told to go to school and get good grades, and they would do it. I was told the same thing. Only I asked, “Why?” Maybe not to my parents or teachers, but it was a question that always circled around my supposedly stupid brain.
However, I started to notice something strange.
Success In Interests
My older sister Emily just came back from music camp and showed me a few songs her friend made with his band. He was the lead guitarist, and the way he played was mesmerizing. My sister, later on, had gotten a guitar, and so did my cousin. I would watch them play and was always in awe.
One day Me and my sister were chilling in the basement while my cousin was riffing on his guitar, but shortly after, they both ran upstairs, I think to help my parents with groceries or something. It was just me and that guitar in the room. I couldn’t help but pick it up and start playing. I was garbage, I mean I sounded awful, but it sparked something in me that would inspire me to learn as much as I could for the next 8 years. I even got to study Classical guitar with Ernesto Tamayo A well-known professional classical guitarist. I never would have thought that so much would have come from someone who was supposedly inadequate.
Later on, I discovered Poker and immediately fell in love with all the intricacies of the game. I slowly went from putting all my focus on guitar to putting all of it on poker. I would study the game endlessly, learning about bluffs, semi-bluffs, 3 bets, balancing hands, and much more. I became obsessed with the statistics and probability of the game. And not long after I started killing the micro stakes often times playing 2 or 3 tables at once ( this was online poker )
I don’t want to sound too proud for something I didn’t accomplish, but I probably would have gone on to play professionally (maybe not in Vegas with the big boys) if I hadn’t let family and friends talk me out of “wasting my life on a game that’s all luck.” They didn’t understand the depths of the game like I did. Regardless I decided to let it go as a future career.
When I was younger l lived in a world projected onto me by others. What I mean by this is that being a young boy not knowing much about myself and already conditioned to trust what adults say, I believed I was dyslexic along with the stigma that is self-perceived mediocrity.
My reality was that of someone fragile with low self-esteem, socially awkward, timid, and lesser than my peers. Although most people in my life were trying to help me accomplish academic goals and overcome dyslexia, the negative mental frame I developed kept me feeling incapable of being self-sufficient. There is a quote I found by Henry Ford that goes as follows: “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” and often times, viewing life through this negative mental frame, I believed I couldn’t.
On the other hand, when I Believed that I could do something and actually wanted to do the thing. I would work harder, struggle through stress, mistakes, and all kinds of setbacks to see my goals fulfilled. I was a completely different person than how I was viewed in school. The difference between these two portions of my life was a personal development book that I read called
The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale
The Power of Positive Thinking
The Power of Positive Thinking was the first Personal development book that I read. The change was subtle, but a seed was planted in me. I started to believe that anything was possible if I thought I could do it. I began to resonate with underdogs in any movie or T.V. series that would go from being at rock bottom to thriving in their world. I wanted to be like them.
A perpetual desire to overcome my weaknesses came about. I started focusing on social development and learning how to make friends. I found an impressive group of friends when I was living in Florida that showed me that I had value inside myself. They showed me love. I started thinking more actively about my future and what I wanted to accomplish. I knew I wanted to be rich and take care of my family, so I started teaching myself online marketing and developing the skill sets necessary to achieve goals in that area. I started going to the gym and eating healthier and learning wellness meditation to release anxiety and negative feelings.
I started reading any book I could that would help me achieve my goals. Although pursuing these goals will be a life long journey, I can look back on my life and see how much I have grown, especially in the area of mindset which I believe to be the most essential part of personal development. Without the correct mindset, you will more than likely fail. After all, If you think you can’t do something, why would you even try.
Victim or Warrior
So why personal development? Well it’s really up to you on how you want to live your life.
You can either let life happen to you, or you can be the author of your own life. You can either be at the effect of everything and ask “why does bad shit always happen to me” like I used to, or you can be at the cause of life, struggling through the pain of change, crafting your life to be the way you want it to be and be an OG. You can either be a victim, or you can be a warrior. you get the point
I have been on both side, and I can say that if I never decided to develop myself into someone greater, I would have remained the victim, viewing life as me against the world never experiencing the joy of great friends, success in marketing, and overall wellness. Sure it can be tough at times. But I much rather create my life and look back and see how far I have come than not doing anything at all and wishing I had.
So what about you? Are you a warrior? Are you on the journey of personal development? Or are you thinking about making some changes in your life? let me know in the comment section below
Talk to you soon.